by the QC staff (blurb by chris carp)
As a music web site, we consider ourselves to have a well refined taste. However, we are all guilty of taking a dip in the lame pool at some point in our formative years. Some of us even did laps. The first step in the grieving process is nonstop crying, but at some point after that comes acceptance. Today we’re here to accept our mistakes and confess albums we once loved but are not so proud to admit. Don’t judge harshly. Just think back when you dug New Kids on the Block or ‘N Sync, or even way back when you loved The Jonas Brothers. And laugh with us. And then laugh at the Jonas Brothers. Have a great weekend folks! Fall in love.
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► Kevin Diamond: Ace Of Base
Will mankind ever be able to recreate the joy and utter pointlessness inherent in the invention of the Cassingle? barely worth the price of the plastic it was encased in, Ace of Base’ All That She Wants, backed with the equally unforgettable Fashion Dance (What, you don’t remember that song?) brought me a warmth and happiness I dare say I haven’t felt since. Too young to know what style of music they were horibly murdering (Reggae), or what progressive country they were unfortunately representing (Sweden), my 5th grade ass knew this and only this: that cute girl in my class sang the song over and over again, and I wanted to impress her with my knowledge of the lyrics. I had no idea what they meant, but god damnit, I was gonna sing every last word. Luckily for me, there’s a rare New Zealand cassingle of All That She Wants on sale at eBay. Going price: 29 bucks. But really, isn’t it priceless?
► Alex Pellerano: Natalie Imbruglia
I don’t know if it was her baby blue eyes or the elegance of her Australian tongue but I straight up loved this woman when I was 14. That’s right around the time that Natalie Imbruglia’s debut album Left of the Middle hit the airwaves and her music video for the single “Torn” dug its heels into the VH1 video rotation. I accidentally confessed my Imbruglia fetish one drunken night at college leading my roommates to randomly jam it when they wanted to embarrass me in social situations. Little did they know that my physical attraction towards Natalie would cease to fade and that I’m still capable and willing to belt that song after nightfall.
► Neil Roberts: Rockapella
For many of my prepubescent years I was a complete geography nerd. I sat in front of my computer for hours with my almanac, encyclopedia, and supersized atlas, I would feverishly look up all the answers in attempt to actually find that Carmen Sandiego, the Broderbund classic. Which lead me to the brilliantly produced television show starring the late great Lynne Thigpen. Well if you remember anything about the show you probably remember the house band Rockapella, made famous for their stirring rendition of the theme song. Well I had the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego Album featuring 6 Rockaepella tracks. I knew every word to every song. Daily I danced in my underwear and sang at the top of my lungs songs like “Capital” and “Lets get away from it all”, I even knew every harmony on the entire album.
“Steal their Seoul in South Korea, make Antarctica cry Uncle,
From the Red Sea to Greenland they’ll be singing the blues,
Well they never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the jungle,”
?!? what was I thinking. Confessions…
► John Cole: All-4-One
Spending many summer days at my Nonna’s house in lovely (not so lovely) Paterson, N.J. I would sit on her stoop and just listen to horrible Top 40 music, occasionally changing the dial from 100.3 to 104.3 and 92.3. But, I was in elementary school and Green Day was on Z100, so that station rarely got turned off. As a result, I’d also be exposed to bad R&B and hip-hop at the time, thus becoming mildly obsessed with ‘I Swear’ by All 4 One. After a few weeks, I had to have the song at my disposal. So, I recorded it on a blank cassette via the radio and was overjoyed with the fact that I can put it in my Walkman and listen any any time I’d like. Fortunately, my love of the song turned to hate, and shortly after, I stopped listening.
► Darren O’Brien: Dread Zeppelin
As the youngest child of five, I had a strange hodgepodge musical upbringing that I never realized as strange until much later: I was listening to Duran Duran as early as Van Halen; Yes as early as Yaz, and never saw any stylistic or ideological discrepancy. So in middle school, when CDs first started to take over from cassette and vinyl as the go-to medium, my beginner’s CD collection was similarly disjointed. There was Led Zeppelin IV, Depeche Mode’s Violator, Jane’s Addiction’s Ritual de lo Habitual, and the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, none of which I feel the need to be ashamed about (Violator is still an all-time favorite). But, while I was mostly immune to the early 90s attitude of “anybody making music deserves a video on MTV,” there was one band where I must have let my older siblings’ enthusiasm override my better preteen judgement. That was Dread Zeppelin.
A quintessential 90s “circuit” band, Dread Zeppelin played reggaefied Led Zeppelin covers with an obese, dreaded (coiffurely speaking) Elvis impersonator as their lead singer. And you know, it was actually kind of awesome; the first album, Un-Led-Ed, is a forgotten…classic???, and I still prefer their version of “Moby Dick” over the original. But after two albums of one gimmicky formula, the “porn bass” player became the lead singer and the band’s MO became “Elvis sings the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack” (this was the very beginning of the 90s disco rehash). I wanted to like it so much, but I just couldn’t, just like that first Jesus Jones album. However, Un-Led-Ed still stands up as both a curio of the late 80s/early 90s alt scene, and as just an example of something extremely weird. But it works. I think. In the interest of nostalgia I didn’t relisten. But I think it’s still good. But I’m ashamed about thinking that. But, I mean, they were Robert Plant’s favorite Led Zeppelin tribute band. But then, Andy Kaufman was Elvis’ favorite Elvis impersonator. But then, that’s kind of awesome. Just like Dread Zeppelin. The end.
► Chris Carpenter: Boyz II Men
I was 10 years old and in the fifth grade at Birch Meadow Elementary School in Reading, Massachusetts. About the age in boys that the pituitary gland shoots out some testosterone and the hormonal fiesta known as puberty hits its stride. Boyz II Men, singing primarily about seducing women, provided a perfect soundtrack to what was going on in this landmark moment of my sexuality. I also began realizing that I like to sing, and what a perfect parity this album was for me. It is an easy sing along, as well as applying appropriate words to what my newly formed hormones were telling me. I wanted girls, and I knew these Philly dudes had the game to get them. My developmental mind as a singer was also forming, and these fellas laid the groundwork for me to soon after discover soul singers Otis Redding and Sam Cooke. I still can’t get over the deep bass voice sweet talking during most tracks (“Baby, I’m sorry, come home baby”). That shit is priceless. I confess, Boyz II Men’s II rocked my ten year old world, and I loved it.
► Alyssa Coluccio: Hanson
You’d probably be lying if you said you’d never at least tapped your foot along to MMMBop, and I’d definitely be lying if I said that my Hanson obsession ended in the fourth grade. Forgive me for going the stereotypical boy-band route with this one, but I feel as though I’d be doing a dis-service to the girl of my youth by not choosing Hanson. The obsession lasted from the age of seven to 14, spanning a ridiculous amount of music (including the holiday special Snowed In), books (favorites including Zac Attack and Dancin’ With Hanson), posters, lunchboxes, t-shirts, videos… probably homemade shrines in my closet. It was with Hanson that I made the transition from cassette tapes to CDs (and, since we’re being honest here, Ipods), and it was a Hanson songbook that I first learned the keyboard with back in third grade. I’m as embarrassed as I am nostalgic about my admitted love for these boys, but in the pre-teen realm of pop music, it could have been worse- I could have been a BSB girl or something.
► ND McCray: Paula Abdul
I’m slightly embarrassed to admit it but whatever man … Paula Abdul’s Forever My Girl was one of the first vinyl albums I bought. I was around 15-years old, and honestly, I had a slight crush on Paula. She was cute, she could sing, dance, choreograph, and she was a former Laker Girl. I’d spend hours upon hours in my bedroom singing each song, following along with the lyrics printed on the record jacket. Though I wasn’t dating at the time, my absolute favorite songs were “Forever Your Girl” and “I Need You”. Also (oh, I’m telling it all!), I would record all of her videos, “Forever Your Girl” at the top, with the little girls dancing, loved it! I even have her performing on Showtime at the Apollo. Wait, I think I still have it on VHS!
Editor’s Note: Feeling the guilt? Drop your own music confession in the comments*
One Comment
Salt N Peppa
I remember rockin out to some Salt N Peps when I was a young buck with my even younger brother. We were blastin that shit in my grandparents house, throwin up gang signs and being clowns, when my dad entered the room full of rage. He then opened the tape deck, removed Salt N Peppa and snapped it in half and then proceeded to stomp it out on the floor. We were devestated at the time, but now that I look back on it I appreciate what my Dad did. Thanks Pops, I would have done the same thing if we traded places for that moment.