Quiet Color

by kevin diamond

Bananas. Monkeys love them. and with good reason: they’re fucking delicious. I cut them up on my cereal. I make peanut butter and banana sandwiches. I split them with Ice Cream and dip them in chocolate fountains. So imagine my surprise when I came across this article on Huffington Post. It seems our country’s favorite phallic fruit (sorry zuchini) is ripe (ha!) for extinction. I nearly spit my banana bread across the room. How can I imagine a life without the creamy, sweet, fragrant delicacy that I’ve grown to love?

Artist: Sammy Bananas Song: Ooh Bop

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Interestingly enough, this isn’t the first time this has happened. The banana that we all know and love is a strain called the Cavendish, but before the powers-that-be chose upon this particular type, there was an even tastier strain called the Gros Michel. I’m almost more upset by the thought that there was once a tastier banana in the world and I never got to try it.

There will still be bananas, but they won’t be the same. As the article states, “There are bananas we could adopt as Banana 3.0 – but they are so different to the bananas that we know now that they feel like a totally different and far less appetizing fruit. The most likely contender is the Goldfinger, which is crunchier and tangier: it is know as ‘the acid banana.’” Just saying the term “Acid Banana” makes me wanna puke and cry. Also, it sounds like a bad band name.

Give the article a read, if only for the history of government and corporate corruption that lead to this disasterous monoculture of bananas. And be forewarned, the bananas we know and love are only gonna be around for another 5 or ten years, so get your fill.