by cheryl santa maria
When I was a kid I thought I was an artiste so I played the guitar, wrote shitty poems and took art classes. One day I was working on a painting when my teacher came up to me.
“Quick,” he said. ”Name ten things you saw on your walk into school today.”
“I saw some birds and … um … I saw some… uh -”
“Birds? What colour were they?”
“Black?”
“Jesus,” he said. ”What’s wrong with kids today? I bet you didn’t see any goddamn birds. I bet you wouldn’t even notice a bird if it flew up and crapped right on your head.
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See, Cheryl, that’s the problem with you and everyone else in this class. You’ll never be a real artist unless you see things. You’ve got to observe your surroundings. You got it? Good. Now go on and get the hell out of here. And don’t bother coming back until you’ve learned to see the world around you.”
Ever since that day, I’ve looked at the world. I stare at it, actually. Sometimes I gape. Sometimes I spend so much time staring at people, places and things that it’s nearly impossible to complete the simplest of tasks.
Take last night for example. I walked to the Eaton Centre with every intention of doing some Christmas shopping but I couldn’t get past the front door. I took one look at all of the people shoving and pushing on the crowded streets. Many of them had their hands filled with presents but were completely devoid of Holiday Spirit. All I could think about was this.
Luckily, we don’t need to venture out of our homes to shop anymore. I didn’t do it this year, but I think I’m going to buy my Christmas presents online from now on. One quick internet search reveled a ton of great gifts. Here are my top five:
1. The guitar player in your life will love this Acoustic Steel String Guitar. It’s one of a kind and it’s fashioned from mahogany. You can also get a similar guitar in nylon string. Oh, and by the way, my guitar is like, 150 years old and it’s falling apart. I could really use a new one. Just sayin’.
2. If you’re looking for something for a drummer, or wannabe drummer friends, you might want to consider this Maple and Shedua Djembe drum. In addition to looking good and making cool music, studies have shown that frequent use of hand drums such as the Djembe are known to reduce stress and promote healing.
3. Bookworms will enjoy Bumping into Geniuses. It’s a memoir by music exec Danny Goldberg that chronicles his time spent with bands like Nirvana and Led Zepplin, to name a few.
4. Here’s a gift that I’ll be giving this year. The Durham Humane Society , located in Oshawa, Ontario needs your donations. On December 17, their building was burned to the ground by a viscous fire that killed 150 animals. Damages are estimated at $250,000.00. Please give generously to this wonderful cause. You can also make donations in a friend’s name. This makes a perfect gift. AJ, my extremely handsome kitty, thanks you in advance.
5. The smart ass in your life will appreciate a gift from the Onion gift store . My favorite item is their “I love commuting” mug because as a commuter myself, I know nothing is more fun than driving 60 kilometers a day, five days a week, on one of the world’s busiest highways. One day there was an accident right before rush hour and it took me four hours to get home. Oh, God. I love commuting. Really. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.
So there you go. Happy holidays friends, and happy gift hunting.
One Comment
this is awesome .. love the stories you include in ure writing